Two weeks ago, Alex’s wife had the audacity to come and harass me to
leave her husband alone! It wasn’t a pleasant experience but I will love
to inform her and every other married women who go harassing their
husbands’ girlfriends that they are only re-engineering us to continue
to serve their husbands better, while they lose him further!
If today’s your first time of reading Single’s Bliss, let me give you
a brief recap. Alex is a married man who is ‘madly in love with me’. He
will do anything for me and is the source of the utility sports car I
drive. At the moment, he is checking out apartments for me on the Island
here in Lagos State and has promised to not only buy me the property of
course in my name, but furnish it with choice furniture. Yes, I am into
him and visa-a-vis. But let me make it clear, I don’t have any
intention of marrying him, as he is simply my ATM while his friend is
now my serious boyfriend. Call me bad babe, you won’t be the first, but
helping him to shine my Congo properly has been making our worlds go
round. Mischievous grin.
Again, let me state, I have never prepared any meal for Alex since he
started flying my logo yet he keeps coming after me. I no dey use juju,
I simply apply the real ideology which states: the real way to a man’s
heart is not through his stomach, it’s below his navel! Oh yeah! He’s
kept coming after me since the first time he flogged me with his third
leg! Lest I forget, I gave it to him wella and set him coming for more!
Get it straight ye married woman, it is wonderful to be married and
every single babe out there is looking forward to doing same but take
this straight from me: even if you prepare the best meals for your
husband and don’t allow him shine your Congo properly, he WILL wonder
off your path. In short, your subsequent nagging lines will not retrace
his mind as it would only make him stumble fairly and away quicker and
farther! And you know definitely where he would perch…in the more caring
arms and laps of REAL BABES!
See me see trouble o! I was on my way to the studio to resume
afternoon shift when I made a stop at the Ikeja Shopping Mall. I was
about driving out of the premises when this short and very dark unkempt
faced woman rushed up to me and started ranting: “leave my husband alone
you husband snatcher!!!” The thing was clapping and head bent on making
a scene. I was dumbfounded when she introduced herself as Alex’s wife.
Kai! See disappointment written all over my face.
My backside is prettier than her face while she looks like the carved
juju some people serve! Trust me naa! I didn’t waste my energy on her; I
simply started my engine and the speed with which I zoomed off sent her
the warning that: if you jump in my front, at your own risk!
I really don’t get it o! Why do handsome guys like Alex end up with
such women? While driving back to the office, I couldn’t help imagining
how and where Alex met the juju he calls wife. She is not gifted
frontally and her backside no even try. I know some women who are less
privileged at the front and back at least have very cute faces but this
Alex own get as e be. Nothing at all! Her face is like someone gulping
100 litres of bitter leaf juice at gun point! Maybe na juju she take
marry Alex and unfortunately, jazz are like medicines off the shelf –
they have expiry dates!
Immediately I got to the studio, I found myself changing my topic for
the day. Guess what I discussed instead? I asked a very simple
question: What would you do if you know your husband’s cheating on you
and you know his girlfriend? Na wa o! Our Nigerian women lack finesse! I
not only recorded the highest phone calls that day, married women
called swearing during the live programme and many of them went as far
as mentioning their husbands’ girlfriends’ names on air while sending
threatening messages to them.
I asked a follow-up question which virtually all the callers avoided
and tried to downplay but I know I scored a major goal. Wondering what
it is? Very simple: How often do you allow him do the thing and how
often do you update and change your styles?
They feigned ignorance but I
was only being real o!
My dearly beloved married sister, I know I am single so you might not
want to take me serious but if you’ll overlook that aspect and
wholeheartedly swallow next week Sunday’s guide that I will be supplying
you, then you’ll be on a major route of SOLELY OWNING your husband for
good! Get a copy of Sunday Mirror next week for the no-hold-back
session. But remember: Good meals alone don’t keep a man at home; you
need more than that to SOLELY OWN him!
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